New year new start ……. Eventually

Happy New Year !!!
Yeah yeah I know it’s February but my cycling year started yesterday I went to the forgotten man cave called my garage and sadly my bikes hadn’t been stolen so a painful and chilly 21.3 miles later I was again a cyclist .
And that was my first ride since November 30th 2014 , yep last fricking year that’s what a slacker I have been!! Why such a slacker Braddos I hear you ask ? The reason for my slacking is I lost my mojo , not just lost it but it completely upped and went totally AWOL . Now this prolonged mojo loss has never happened before and truly am at a loss as to why .
But I would like to share the content of a hilarious text I received whilst I was wallowing in a mojo less world

Courtesy of Big dog H

Big Dog H ; ‘Hello, is that Trek HQ..?! I’d like to report a case of Trek cruelty please’. THQ; ‘It’s not the imprisoned Madone in Plymouth is it Sir? We’ve been inundated with calls about that poor sorry soul. Had a fabulous 2013, doing a LEJOG and pretty much left to rot since aside from a couple of teasing scenic sportives over the summer. One of our worst cases to be honest Sir. Tragic.’ Big dog H ; ‘Yes, I know, it is such a waste of such a fine specimen. And that’s the bike, if there’s any doubt.’

Hahah that is the kind of hilarity I receive to try and lure my sorry arse back from the wilderness ๐Ÿ˜„ cheers for that Glenn .

So now let’s do a rewind back to the 30th of November to discover something that happened on the ride of that day . I only went and FELL OFF . Yeah crash bang wallop a big ol heap of lard on the floor , and the saddest part of the whole episode apart from the scabby knee, cut bib tights and bruised ego was it was the most ridiculous crash ever caused by a disguised kerb onto a cycle path !! Damn you Plymouth City Council and your kerb , no kerb, kerb cycle paths …….. You owe me Bitch !!!!!! I hope I scuffed your freshly painted red footpath !!!

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Obviously no new year resolutions this year as I failed to keep last years so stuff it I won’t bother this year . Not even gonna mention a target mileage as too many people remind me when am way off target ….. Baaasssttaaads!!

But it does look like if I can get my fat arse out on the bike the first half of the year is gonna be busy and extremely tough.
Much excitement as I am once again signed for Etape Ness in April a stunning sportive on the shore of Lake Ness in a land far far away called Scotland , and then guess what hehehe so excited am actually fulfilling an ambition from when I was about 11 and used to watch The Tour on Channel 4………. Am only gonna be cycling up Alpe Fricking D’huez ……… Oh yeah read it and weep 4 days in the Alps in May !!!!
After what am hoping will be a classic French trip next up is Coast 2 Coast in June . As excited as I am about France I must admit to dreading the C2C. It’s 150 miles in one day it’s stupid and so am I , simple as !

So that sums up the latter part of 2014 & the 1st month of 2015 . Hopefully after yesterday woeful ride ( average bpm 160 is good isn’t it ๐Ÿ˜„ ) the mojo is back and am rolling again…….. We shall see hahahaha .

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